Snow can be a royal pain in the driveway. Or it can be a beautiful wonder. We can grumble about having to slog through it to get to work. Or we can spend a few minutes in the snowy woods and listen to the quiet. Listen and wonder.

It’s all in how you look at it.
Dealing with breast cancer is another royal pain—in our boobs, our minds, our finances, our whole lives. But sometimes it means we stop in our tracks to look at what is around us that is good and loving and sweet and dear in a way we have never done before.
Yes, we are dealing with way too many healthcare professionals and some are good but others are not. The bad ones confuse, scare, and frustrate us. But the good ones can literally save our lives, and many of them are exceptionally thoughtful while they do it.
And people we know sometimes say really stupid, insensitive things. Like the “How are you?” that sounds like “Oh, you’re not dead yet?” Or, “Yeah, my sister had that kind of cancer and she died.” But others bring us smoothies and send us loving cards and make us healthy foods and sit with us during chemo.
And they tell us they love us.
And they show us they love us.
Just look at that.
Photo by Pat: Gray’s Lake, Des Moines, Iowa

5 thoughts on “Breast Cancer Mantra: You Can't Change Reality, But You Can Change How You See It

  1. Anonymous says:

    Thanks Pat! I'm writing this guidebook with my doctor, who is one of the best bc-specialists here in Finland. We are also giving a interview to Finnish Medical Journal about our book – probably in February. Our guidebook is going to be one of a kind in Finland, because there has never been a guidebook written by patients and doctors together. This is very important project for me. And I hope our book is going to help many young patients in Finland. I was 30-years old when my tnbc was diagnosed, now I'm 31.All the best for you!Satsuke

  2. Anonymous says:

    Satsuke: Good luck on your project. Sounds like a good one. Fear can really seize a person's heart and soul, and it can be difficult to get out of its trap. Thanks for writing. It is snowy in Iowa as well, but probably a different storm. 🙂 Pat

  3. Anonymous says:

    Patricia, this is so true! Greetings from snowy (and beautiful) Finland. Right now we have a huge snowstorm going on, almost 20 cm's during 10 hours. :)I'm writing a guidebook for young bc-patients here in Finland. I have wrote exactly the same thoughts to my book, as you wrote. Best friends are the one, who really do something concrete and best health care experts are the one, who are nice and don't confuse you. We have to deal with fear, but that can also mean, that you learn to appreciate your life in a way that some people never learn. I have many friends (or should I say pals), who have every reasons to be happy (children, job, husband, house, health etc), but they are not. They do not see what they have got. And I'm feeling sorry for them. I'm happy to be alive and I'm enjoying my life as much as I can.Take care!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Thanks Alley! I love the snowman on a picnic. You must live in a snowy climate. And you are right that this is tough–going through any kind of cancer can be a dark time. I think we can ease our journey a little by trying to look beyond that darkness. Take care.

  5. Anonymous says:

    wow what pleasantly you give example of snow. If you really want to enjoy then snow is great to play making snow man going on picnic. but one thing i want to share here is when some one is facing some thing then every situation change. percieving some thing according to situation and then molding and accepting it is so tough. those people who are living in snow know what kind of problem they have to face. same is the case with breast cancer. weather you got the symptoms in initial or at the end the fear of death is some thing that you can't change.. that's why i always say to every women that breast exam is the easy solution to protect your self from bigger threat of breast cancer.

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